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Join the dialogue! Thinking Human Matters is for people who enjoy digging deeply into the human experience, for people who have the courage to examine themselves and the culture around them. Love, marriage, sexuality, child-rearing, work, play, religion, art, psychology, science, conflict and the hope for reconcilation -- Steven Kalas coaxes the important human questions out of life, whether from everyday events around us or from global breaking news.
Read all of Steven's columns.
Monthly archives
 I am the eldest in a family of three sisters. For years, my sisters and I have struggled with how to balance and accept one individually and in our respective family roles. At times, there is a lot of conflict, estrangement and anger when my middle...
My husband of 47 years passed away in December and I'm wondering if you would recommend any books for me to read to get through the grieving process. Also, how can I respond when people ask me, "Are you OK" or "How are you...
I'm 35 and still living at home in these tough economic times. A female friend of mine claims she was insulted by my mom at one of our lunches about four months ago. My mom vehemently denies such claims and feels insulted herself that she is being...
I am 26 and recently divorced. I met a very cool girl last week and have talked to her a couple of times since. This has brought a lot of my internal contradictions to the surface. I am still in love with my ex-wife, but I want to date other people,...
I consider myself to be a deeply sexual person. This is different than saying my desire for sexual experience follows some pattern, because it doesn't. I can enjoy sex some days, and other days I'm interested in just being close. I can enjoy sexual...
Why do men just run away? Do they ever, at any time, come to the realization of their actions and admit to themselves that they were wrong and try to right those wrongs? Or do most men just keep going, having done the damage and never try to restore...
My husband and I have a 24-year-old daughter diagnosed at 5 as ADHD, later, OCD, and now it is thought that she is bipolar. She has never had good relationships with friends, boyfriends or us. I worry daily for her. She cannot hold down a job...
I'm not in complete mastery over the effects of many years of trying to make a (bad) marriage work, followed by years of struggle as a single mom. Yep, limping, battered, distrustful. I've finally decided this whole process is very similar to the...
I enjoy your columns in the Hawaii Tribune Herald in Hilo. Regarding your recent column on separateness and connectedness, there's a problem in our marriage. My wife says she needs alone time. And this is OK. However, this alone time that she wants...
If you were going to construct a report card for couples, what would be the subjects you would grade them on?
-- M.R., Las Vegas
In my workshops for couples, I have a presentation titled Arenas of Intimacy. I identify five arenas wherein couples...
I have a dear friend who is going through a very difficult time with his ex-girlfriend, with whom they share a child. He has moved on and is currently in a serious relationship with a woman he plans to marry. The problem is he feels that his life is...
Suddenly, they are everywhere. A popularity explosion. I can't drive more than a few miles in any direction and not see at least one of the following three cars: the Honda Element, the Scion xB or the Nissan Cube.
I find myself staring at these...
My friend is having child custody issues with her ex-boyfriend. Her concern is that her ex-boyfriend apparently likes prostitutes. This information came from reliable sources, which happened before and while they were together. Things fell apart...
Afew weeks ago, I published an answer to a reader who had just "uncovered a nightmare" on the computer. Her boyfriend is participating on multiple online dating sites, erotic Web cams and has cyber-girlfriends across the United States and...
A person won't make an appointment with an accountant to work on a tax problem until the deadline to pay is too close to refigure taxes, and thus has to pay more than he might really owe.
A person earns decent money but instead of saving to pay...
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