It sounds like an Eastern European economy car. Or the noise you'd make after a night of deep-fried Twinkies, yard-long margaritas and anything on top of the Stratosphere.

But now that I finally have one -- www.reviewjournal.com/blogs/vegasvoice -- it seems more friendly.

It's the kind of place you can go for TV news, previews and reviews that are too timely for a weekly column.

I can't always promise dazzling wordplay, but I vow that the posts will be 99.44 percent emoticon-free and won't spell sentences like Prince song titles. (U R welcome 2, if U want 2. :-) )

To get some practice, I attended last week's National Association of Broadcasters show at the Las Vegas Convention Center, where industry types gather to hear from leading content producers and buy and sell gadgets, gizmos and a batch of what I swear were flux capacitors.

This is what I found. Blogstyle.

ZUIKER: THE VEGAS YEARS

Based on his hyperkinetic anecdotes, "CSI" creator Anthony Zuiker's pre-fame life would make for a raucous teen comedy.

The first thing he was paid to create, he said, was a billboard for a local sex shop.

"I did this really cool thing, which was three blowup dolls ... and it said 'Picking up airheads just got easier.' And I walked in to the (owner), and the guy said, 'I love this. I'll give you $500 cash or $1,000 in product.' And I was like, 'Mmm. I'll take the cash.' "

And as a bellman at The Mirage, his first taste of the good life came when he helped Rodney Dangerfield switch rooms after the one the comedian was given hadn't been cleaned.

"He got so mad he (opened) his suitcase, took a CD player and a little satchel, went inside the bathroom, shut the door, started playing rock music. ... Five minutes later, he comes out and says, 'I want everything in my bathroom in my new room right now! Right this instant!'

"So I walked in -- true story -- I walked in, and I saw four lines of cocaine this long, a handful of Quaaludes and some marijuana cigarettes. ... So I said, 'OK, I'm Anthony Zuiker. I'm a cool guy. I'm cool, I'm hip.'

"I took the razor blade, took the cocaine, put it back in the vials. I took the Quaaludes, put them back in the bottles. (Took) the marijuana cigarettes. Put them in the next room where he was staying. Went back in. Re-cut the lines of cocaine. Put the Quaaludes out. Put the marijuana cigarettes (out) and said, 'Mr. Dangerfield, what else can I do for you, sir?' He goes, 'I like your style, kid!' "

The result? A $3,000 tip.

YOU MAY NEVER REALLY KNOW WHAT THE 'LOST' MONSTER IS

"Everybody's fascinated by the mythology, but we actually probably spend more time really discussing the characters," "Lost" executive producer Carlton Cuse said.

Co-creator Damon Lindelof said the monster has been the most frequent subject of questions about the series. So much so that the writers have developed a rule: Each time they show the smoke monster, they reveal more about its nature.

"Once the show is all said and done, will there still be an interpretive quality to what the monster is? Of course. But that's not our fault," Lindelof said. "Because we think we definitively answer questions on the show all the time, and people still go 'Yeah, but what is it?' If a guy came walking out of the jungle and said, 'I'll tell you exactly what the monster is: It's this, this, this, this and this,' the audience would go, 'Who's that guy?' "

STRANGE BEDFELLOWS

ABC's "Pushing Daisies" was the quirkiest, most unusual new series of the fall. Fittingly, some of its behind-the-scenes talent is just as odd.

While describing a particularly tricky scene he shot for the show's pilot, director Barry Sonnenfeld (the "Men in Black" movies), who's also an executive producer on the series, ventured into some uncharted territory.

"For some really sick, twisted reason, I was wearing the camera operator's beard," he said. After more than a few quizzical looks, Sonnenfeld explained that earlier in the day, crew members somehow shaved the camera operator's beard off in one piece and glued it onto the director.

"And I must tell you, if you've never tried this, do not spend a day at work wearing someone else's beard. It really is a disgusting way to go about working.

"The actual process of making movies and television shows is profoundly boring," he continued, by way of an explanation. "And often, I'll wear fake mustaches and stuff, and I just ran out of a decent mustache that day."

It later came to light that instead of a director's chair, Sonnenfeld often directs from a saddle perched atop an apple box while he's wearing a cowboy hat.

Christopher Lawrence's Life on the Couch column appears on Mondays. E-mail him at clawrence@reviewjournal.com.