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COMING TOGETHER: Big and Beautiful

Plus-sized women gather in Las Vegas to celebrate their size and their beauty

Go ahead, get a good look at the fat women in the swimming pool.

Make your orca jokes; lambaste them for daring to show their pudgy bellies in a two-piece bathing suit. Take pictures if you need to. These women could give a rat's patootie what you think of them. They're more concerned with what to wear to the dance on this recent Friday night. Or who's flirting with the cute guys. Or how much that strapless sundress at the convention's store costs.

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  • The 30 or so women sunning themselves at the Tuscany hotel swimming pool on this Friday afternoon are only a handful of the 1,000 attending the Big, Beautiful Women Network Bash, which took place last week. In its 12th year, the bash brings together plus-sized women -- and a few men -- for four days of socializing, dancing, partying and a few life-changing experiences.

    It's not about promoting fat or encouraging people to gain weight, as some have said in the past, said JoAnn Bellemore of Pahrump, the event organizer. Rather, the bash is about women who have been pushed to the fringes of society coming together and bonding, celebrating life and living in the moment, like anyone else.

    "If you're plus-sized, sometimes you feel like the whole world is against you," Bellemore says. Women came from 13 countries to attend this year's bash. "This is all about size-acceptance and self-esteem."

    The BBW Network started out as an online chat room. After people got to know each other, they thought it would be fun to actually meet in person, Bellemore says. She chose Las Vegas in case the get-together fell flat; at least they could explore the city, she recalls. Twenty-six people turned out for the first one and, despite the lack of advertising, the event has grown every year since.

    When she looks for a host hotel, Bellemore makes sure she finds a fat-friendly place. Those are businesses that have chairs without arms, ground-based toilets instead of those attached to walls, and aisles that are wide enough for electric scooters.

    The bash offers a variety of events, from a seminar on living with diabetes to belly dancing lessons. Attendees can shop in a makeshift store where plus-sized clothing stores display their fashions, including eveningwear, bathing suits, jewelry and other items.

    At night, attendees get together for dances, pajama parties and lingerie shows.

    But there's more to the gathering than just socializing, Bellemore says. Women who had been too scared to wear clothes that showed their bare arms or even go to a club with friends back home come to the bash and wear shorts, bikinis and strapless dresses. They dance, unabashedly, and flirt with the single men.

    "It changed my life," says Californian Colleen Gerke, who was attending for her third year in a row. "Before, I thought I was ugly. I covered up, I had no self-esteem. "

    That's hard to believe coming from this spirited woman in a bathing suit and thin wrap. She laughs and jokes with two dozen other attendees who have gathered in a room to learn the Electric Slide and Cuban Shuffle; they needed a few moves for the night's dance.

    The Vegas bash has helped Gerke, who has been overweight for most of her life, accept and love herself for who she is, right now. And the freedom she has gained from her attitude helps with the viciousness that plus-sized women experience in everyday life.

    Before the dance lessons, Gerke was at the pool with other attendees when two "average" sized women stopped to stare and take pictures. Sometimes, she confronts people who do things like that. Mostly, it's best to ignore them and go on with life, says this first-grade teacher.

    "Take a good look. This is who I am," Gerke says, gesturing to her body. "If that's what you need to do to entertain yourself, then you lead a sad life."

    That kind of thing is common in the world of plus-sized women, says Minnesota native Chea Castro. That's why the bash is so important.

    "There's a safety and comfort in being together because in the world, people have no problem telling you you're fat," Castro says. "I know without asking that all these women here will have a story where some stranger has come up to them and said something about their weight."

    For Castro, that story is when strangers approach her and tell her she has a pretty face; it's a shame she's so fat.

    "You get a thick skin," says Heather Nemeyer, 34. "I live my life just like everyone else. I'm just in a bigger body."

    Nemeyer, who is from Massachusetts, has been facing such attitudes since she was in high school. Recently, she walked into a store and saw a man raise his arm and make a noise, mimicking an elephant.

    "I'll call people out on it. I say, 'Hey, I'm fat but I'm not deaf,' " she says.

    Making fun of fat people is the last, acceptable form of discrimination, Nemeyer says. It's not OK to make fun of disabled people or make ethnic jokes. But people will always laugh at fat jokes, she adds.

    But Nemeyer may be having the last laugh; she has built what her mother calls a fat empire. Nemeyer hosts BBW socials and runs an erotic Web site featuring plus-sized women, bigcuties.com.

    Contact reporter Sonya Padgett at spadgett@reviewjournal.com or 702-380-4564.



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    KL Arizona wrote on July 27, 2008 11:20 AM: by the way EQUALTIME: "Why many people choose to be chunk ridden is beyond us 'normal' types." Honey, I hate to burst your bubble - but wish as you may to believe that being whatever 'normal' you think is normal - it's only your perception of what is normal. YOURS is not what mine is, nor is mine yours. What I am proud to say is that I "choose" to not be an ignorant person. I "choose" to have an open mind. I "choose" to believe that each person is entitled to be the person that they want to be. I "choose" to respect that it's your right to have a personality that I find just as undesirable as you choose to find my FATness. So? I absolutely love my life. I've an awesome group of friends. I've a career in the aerospace industry and my own business that feeds my ego, not to mention has afforded me a lifestyle that allows me to travel and do all of the things that I enjoy doing. I jet ski, have my own harley, am addicted to my quad, use my timeshare to travel AND I'm pushing 50, weigh 350 FAT, happy and healthy pounds! *whoa* say it ain't so! ...cuz I'm lovin' every minute of it! Me, I could care less what you've accomplished in your life - so long as you're happy. I'd venture to guess that this FAT chick IS more successful in life than even you, simply because it is my belief that most successful and happy people don't waste their time comparing themselves to other people's size. Like... because... who cares? I LOVE my life!


    KL Arizona wrote on July 27, 2008 11:04 AM: First, I'm disappointed the video link was NOT at the pool - dang it - I wanted to see if I made it! Secondly, the haters truly make me chuckle because they don't "get it". Hello, insults? Like anything you say we've never heard before? You completely MISS the boat about what "size acceptance" means to us and how we are so 'beyond' your insults. We walk with more confidence in our step than you ever will. That is why our heads are held high without apology for our size, and yours is stuck in the rut of insults. Insult away - where do you think our empowerment came from? You make us stronger. You give us power. Strength comes from others saying "no you can't do that". Oh yeah? Watch me! If power and success is measured by the list of our accomplishments, this FAT chick has made it! ...and I'm loving every minute of it! So go ahead, insult me darling... Insult ME!


    Dee wrote on July 25, 2008 06:21 PM: Some can't simply stand the fact that people of acceptance got together to have a nice time. So many people are so bitter about their lives that they will never voluntary allow others to be in peace. Lucky you that one cannot smack through blogging- many of these sore losers would definitely have gotten black eyes from me. Go BBW! I love you all. The bash was a blast!!!


    MzD wrote on July 24, 2008 08:28 PM: It is quite sad and pathetic how people feel to miserable about their own lot in life that they have to make fun of or put down others to make themselves feel better. I will keep you in my prayers, you have far more problems then the obese people could ever have.


    Video wrote on July 24, 2008 07:23 PM: BREAKING NEWS

    Video footage from the BBW pool party!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XODuJ-YDtPI


    Equal Time wrote on July 24, 2008 05:20 PM: How bout the guys here! Just the LVMPD Motor Officers could do their own variation. Ever see some of those guys? What's up with that? Thought these guys were supposed to be 'above and beyond' the average joe due to the tough job? Can't/won't fit into the bullet proof vest! Maybe those of us that are lesser in heft are abnormal and need the 1000kcal eats to compete. I just don't get it. Why many people choose to be chunk ridden is beyond us 'normal' types.


    chunky wrote on July 24, 2008 05:10 PM: Donuts-$6 for baker's doz
    Super sized whatever w/ diet soda-$7
    Weight Watcher's meal w/ 'reasonable' desert(s)- inc w/ plan + $5.
    Being the BIGGEST at the BBW Bash- Priceless!


    Tom, Burbank wrote on July 24, 2008 04:46 PM: An unfortunate motor cycle, car race or rock climbing accident is not the same as a willful third trip to the buffet or that 4th donut or continual eating throughout the day. Each of those examples is firsthand experience observed in heavy co-workers.


    Foreclosure theory wrote on July 24, 2008 02:51 PM: NV's Foreclosure problem: Money went to Food instead of Mortgage?


    Referee wrote on July 24, 2008 02:06 PM: mark:

    MJ was correct when she said she was on a 1000 kcal diet. That stands for kilocalorie and refers to food energy. It is the correct terminology when referring to diet.

    Your definition of calorie refers to regular energy, which is not the same as food energy.

    Sorry.


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