Getting Back to Reality - Living

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Sep. 24, 2007
Copyright © Las Vegas Review-Journal

Getting Back to Reality

Las Vegan nervous about returning home after stay in 'Big Brother' house

By JOHN PRZYBYS
REVIEW-JOURNAL

Amber Siyavus, who appeared on “Big Brother 8” admits she’s a crier.
CBS

Amber Siyavus still seems a little gun-shy, talking about her just-ended, sometimes tumultuous stint on "Big Brother 8." "This isn't going to be edited, right?" she asked last week at the end of a telephone interview from Los Angeles.

Siyavus' concern with editing is understandable: She, like, every other reality show veteran, has learned firsthand how real life can be sliced and diced to create televised drama.

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But Siyavus makes no excuses. She admits she said those horrible things about Jewish people on the show, and that she's sorry about it. She admits she does tend to be a crier, although not nearly to the degree "Big Brother" producers would have you believe.

And, Siyavus admits, now that her time on the show has ended, she's nervous about returning to her own reality back in Las Vegas.

CBS' "Big Brother" show sequesters a group of contestants in a house. There, they're watched by cameras as viewers follow the goings-on in weekly prime-time recaps and online 24/7.

Siyavus easily was this season's most polarizing presence. Some viewers -- most, actually -- didn't like her and enthusiastically ripped everything from her looks to her intelligence.

Siyavus says she didn't realize the depth of critics' enmity until the show ended. It was her sister who turned on the lights. "She told me that she was reading a lot of the fan boards and I was like the least-liked houseguest."

That surprised Siyavus, who had thought that her struggles -- which she says includes kicking a meth addiction -- would strike a positive chord with viewers. While the show portrayed her as self-absorbed, overemotional, vain and shallow, Siyavus says it didn't show the times when she was supportive and helped others in the house when they were down or upset.

"I was just not what they portrayed me to be, and they made me out to be this horrible person," she says. "I'm so not that. I'm the complete opposite."

Siyavus thought viewers would like her because she's honest. "Obviously, I was wrong."

Many fans were turned off by -- and lampooned her on YouTube for -- her apparent propensity for crying, and even dubbed her "Waaamber."

"When I cried, that was my downfall," she says. "They took that and magnified it. Yes, I did cry a lot, but they showed nothing else but me crying."

Siyavus says she had no strategy going into the game other than to be herself and get to know her housemates. That, she now sees, was naive.

"I don't like to screw people over, I don't like to lie to people," she says. But other players may not have that hesitation, she adds.

"A lot of people who are really into reality TV and people who know how to play the game went in there with the mind-set of, 'I'm going to play this game.' That was my disadvantage. I didn't realize that."

Getting used to the constant filming wasn't difficult, Siyavus says. "You get so used to being in there, you spend so much time doing nothing and you get so comfortable, it's like you just forget what's really going on and (that) you're being watched and taped all the time."

Yet, it was that atmosphere of artificial casualness that contributed to Siyavus' most controversial moment on the series: Angry at fellow contestant Eric for betraying her trust, Siyavus made derogatory remarks about Jewish people while talking to another contestant.

"I have friends of every religion and every race and I in no way, shape or form meant to offend anyone," Siyavus says. "I'm not prejudiced at all.

Siyavus, who says she is still mad at herself, says the comment was made in anger during the heat of the moment.

"If I had my way, I'd go to each person I've offended and tell them I'm so sorry," Siyavus says. "Obviously, that's impossible, because so many people are offended. But I'm so, so sorry."

Except for that, if she had to do it again, Siyavus wouldn't change much of what she did.

"The only thing I'd change is, I'd play the game more for me and not be so trusting of people," she says, even though "it's hard not to be trusting of people."

Siyavus' 8-year-old daughter, Lexi, watched the shows and "enjoyed it," Siyavus says. "She's proud of me."

Lexi stayed with Siyavus' sister during the show. Siyavus now is looking forward to reading a journal her sister kept of Lexi's activities while she was gone.

"I have a journal for the whole three months," Siyavus says. "That means a lot to me."

Then comes the challenge of returning to normal life. Siyavus admits she's not sure how that will go.

"You know, I never realized it was going to be this big, and I know people are going to be coming up to me, saying things," she says.

"It does suck, the (loss of) privacy part. I'm going home and I don't know what I'm going home to. I have a daughter and I'm with her all the time, and I don't want people harassing me and saying things to me."

And what's next?

"Honestly, I don't know," Siyavus says. "I haven't thought much about it. I just want to go back home and be with my family and see how everything goes."

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Please enter your name Name: Please enter your email Email: Please enter a comment COMMENTS : (word count limit is 300) You have reached the maximum number of words allowed Current Word Count: Note: Comments made by reporters and editors of the Las Vegas Review-Journal are presented with a yellow background. harry wrote on November 05, 2007 11:44 PM: Amber, I agree with everything you said and did on BB. I am a christian like you. Maybe we can meet sometime if I make it out to LV. Hank wrote on October 07, 2007 01:25 PM: On top of it, let's not forget the jealous comments she made about Jen (Amber once said "she's so ugly"). Jen even lent Amber clothes and make-up when Amber went to NY for the Power of 10 gameshow. The feeds later caught Amber telling Jameka that she wasn't going to give back Jen's stuff and would "lie and just say I need it". What a good person Amber is-not!! Annette wrote on October 02, 2007 08:53 AM: Amber, It is not how "they" made you look, you made yourself look like an idiot, because that is what you are. You are so deluded in thinking that you should be a model, nurse, motivational speaker! Why did you think that people were just going to send you money to go to nursing school and be on magazines, etc.?? You really need a psychiatrist and your daughter needs a real mother. She need to go to a home where it isn't full of anti-semitics, drug abuser and emotional unstable individuals. You call yourself a christian mother, what a joke on both counts! Barbara wrote on October 01, 2007 08:20 PM: Amber, You are still an idiot if you think you can just downplay your disgusting and stupid comments about Jews and New Yorkers. I am both, and it wasnt the editing that made you look stupid, it was your own words, and comments and behaviors. You did lie, you lied a lot. I watched the 24/7 live feeds and you were lying your butt off. That was not editing that made you lok bad you slut, it was your true self. I am not a kid. I am an upper middle class professional, but you bring out the deepest most hostile feelings I can feel for someone. And, your questions to Jameka about the old testament, and the questions asking for the definition of simpe words only added to the portrait of your stupidity. You looked so foolish on Power of 10 doing just that. So you think Top model, and inspirational speaker, a teacher are in your future?, these are your goals? You should get real. We all hated you so much during the show, and we delighted in ridiculing your stupidity and two faced hypocrisy (get a dictionary) and get a reality check. Barb wrote on September 27, 2007 06:22 PM: Amber, I don't know how you had the NERVE to judge Danielle and her "cheating" on her boyfriend while in the Big Brother house. Have you forgotten what you told Eric and the world (on live feeds) about how YOU treated YOUR boyfriends?? Grow up and accept the fact that you are NOT a "good person." MomTheInsomniac wrote on September 27, 2007 09:16 AM: Hey, I'm Jewish, but I'm poor and spend my money like there will be no tomorrow. Does that make me a bad Jew? teresa wrote on September 26, 2007 07:31 PM: the thing that got me was when amber chose her dog over her daughter.. real grown up mom there Denise wrote on September 26, 2007 11:31 AM: She's a poor excuse for a human being. I had the live feeds and she was crying and moping around the entire season!! I hate Amber dee wrote on September 26, 2007 01:44 AM: Amber was on the live feeds and we all saw her.cbs actually was very good to her on the tv.she was much worse before the editing also amber wasnt even mad at eric at the time of her comments, she said those things BEFORE she wasmad at eric. so amber should just for once stop crying about things she has done and take resposibilty for her actions. Karen wrote on September 25, 2007 09:12 PM: WaamBer give it a rest , you are what you are ! ! ! The good people won ! ! ! ! ! Read All Comments