News

John L. Smith

2009 was one of those good news, bad news kinds of years

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Posted: Jan. 3, 2010 | 10:00 p.m.
Updated: Apr. 10, 2012 | 10:29 a.m.

It's 2010. Brace yourself. I have some good news and bad news.

• The good news is, scientists have found a cure for insomnia. The bad news is, it's the Reid-Sandoval gubernatorial race.

• The good news is, the top candidates for governor have decided to carpool around the state in a show of environmental sensitivity. The bad news is, candidate Oscar Goodman is the designated driver.

• The good news is, Lt. Gov. Brian Krolicki saw felony charges that he misused state funds dismissed. The bad news is, some day we might be forced to see him in another series of career-promoting television commercials.

• The good news is, after many months of acrimony and public embarrassment Gov. Jim Gibbons has finalized his divorce from wife Dawn Gibbons. The bad news is, the Luv Gov is on the loose!

• The good news is, Gibbons has once again found a way to cut the budget and save money. The bad news is, by law each Nevada household must guard one state prisoner.

• The good news is, Danny Tarkanian is mounting a spirited campaign for U.S. Senate. The bad news is, he's running for a chance to play on the same Senate basketball team with John Ensign.

• The good news is, Sue Lowden seems like an energetic candidate for U.S. Senate. The bad news is, she'll be relying on help from the same hapless state Republican Party she ran for several years.

• The good news is, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is bringing thousands of green jobs to Nevada. The bad news is, for him at least, come November he may be applying for one.

• The good news is, the Clark County Commission is updating the county's logo. The bad news is, it looks an awful lot like the Union Label.

• The good news is, Las Vegas Paving has finally filled in one of its enormous gravel pits. The bad news is, hey, where did its competitors from Fisher Sand and Gravel disappear to?

• The good news is, the Las Vegas government will finally get its new City Hall. The bad news is, politicians made so many deals to make it happen the building will be called Monty Hall.

• The good news is, city and county firefighters have decided to compromise in their battle to keep from taking a pay cut. The bad news is, they're only extinguishing 92 percent of your house fire.

• The good news is, prostitution remains unlicensed in Clark County. The bad news is, Privé nightclub will be relicensed.

• The good news is, after many losing seasons, UNLV's football team has a new coach. The bad news is, there aren't enough Glade air fresheners on the planet to erase the smell emanating from Sam Boyd Stadium.

Of course, in 2010 there's always a chance you'll hear bad news:

• The bad news is, you might lose your house. The good news is, in 2010 CityCenter condominiums will be cheaper than a used Yugo.

• The bad news is, the Mayweather-Pacquiao fight has been canceled. The good news is, the Wynn-Adelson fight is ready to rumble.

• The bad news is, scandalized Sen. John Ensign has decided to run for re-election. The good news is, households that promise to vote for him mysteriously receive $96,000 checks as "gifts."

• The bad news is, Southern Nevada's water quality is among the worst in the free world. The good news is, you now have an unbeatable excuse to drink beer for breakfast.

The experts tell us 2010 will be a difficult year for Southern Nevada's economy. Here's hoping they're wrong and we all receive more good news than bad news.

John L. Smith's column appears Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, and now twice on Sunday. He'll let you decide whether that's good news or bad news.

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  1. Joe.Blow Jan. 8, 2010 | 1:03 a.m. Report Abuse

    Good column lol.

  2. Tony.Koncel Jan. 3, 2010 | 8:55 a.m. Report Abuse

    The good news is "John L Smith" updated his picture. The bad news is he used the same picture from 30 years ago. Does ego rule?

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