Nick wrote on July 06, 2008 11:38 PM: Ronnie, you're SO fierce.

appltini wrote on June 30, 2008 11:32 PM: As a foster parent myself, I can say that it is a difficult thing to instill rules and values upon teenage foster children. What my husband and I have always tried to do is get the kids to understand that we are not their parents...but we care enough to have them in our home and we expect respect. If it doesn't work out after a few months...we have no choice but to move on. We do not do this for money as we are very well off. We do this because we understand the HUGE number of foster children out there and wanted to do something to help. We currently have two teen girls right now and they are great girls. They both just needed to be safe and feel like someone listens to what they are saying. Alot of foster parents don't do that and therefore you have kids in the system that don't believe in helpful foster parents anymore. I do not agree with putting these foster teens in shelters as there are ALOT of things to be exposed to and lets face it...Vegas isn't the best place to set examples to upcoming teens. There are alot of flaws in the system...truth is the government should have foster homes for teens that are funded from that $800 a month that are run by people who can show them responsiblity, how to get jobs, and offer counseling to them. This is the only way these kids will ever see the light at the end of the tunnel. Very few make it out of the system normal.

Teresa wrote on June 30, 2008 11:24 PM: Cont... Most kids who are in foster homes from a young age have a desire for love, but they don't even understand that desire because most of them have not ever experienced it so how would they know what it is twisting and turning inside them or how to handle it. Foster parents who wonder why their ward is either to quiet to the point of extreme awkwardness or extremely tempermental
might try to understand this and at least try to work through it before sending them on their way. While they go from one home to another and when they finally (if ever) find that one home where love, care and concern is truly offered, and when they are offered that true solid place in one's family, it is just as awkward and
uncomfortable for these children to accept and or adjust to. It takes a lot of time and patience but without this understanding, most people give up on these kids before it could be worked through. Trusting the only thing they have had to rely on, themselves, their thoughts and feelings or even a place on their shoulder to allow a hand to touch in comfort is extremely difficult. Of course it is easier to talk to their own peers, who are so much more accepting and on the same level. They learn from each other. Of course Ronnie feels more comfortable at this home with his friends. It is not so mentally taxing. Without knowing Ronnie, I feel so very proud of him and I am sure he will reach each goal as I hear his new found comfort in his story. Ronnie, I wish you the best, but most of all, I pray that you find love.

Teresa wrote on June 30, 2008 11:10 PM: I always wanted to be a foster parent but now know I couldn't do it within our system today. I had 2 very rebellious, wannabe independent boys, however during those teenage years, I was very concerned that their independence was mainly wanted for partying and hanging out doing drugs, riding around in insanely fast cars, stealing, and I felt essentially ruining their lives. Both started at age 14 (3 yrs apart) demanding that they change/make the rules and just plain battling their way through to just do what they wanted. Ultimately, after so much heartache, they each/both left home before the age of 17. It was a horrible nightmare and there was no support from "the governmental agencies" but adversely their support was re: the legal rights of the kids - while they explain and otherwise display this to our kids, there was absolutely no acknowledgement or support encouraging the known fact that family/love is most important. There is so much law involved in the personal lives of families, some for the good, but just as much for the bad and many laws tie the hands of the authorities to do what they know to be right. You can't have the good without the bad. Fortunately, both of my boys are doing fairly well today although the emense love we had for each other before this began is no longer acknowledged or remembered by either, and I am patiently awaiting the day everyone who knew us promises me will come. With these experiences and experiencing growing up in foster homes myself, as well as living/working independently from the age of 16 myself, I think I understand where Ronnie's thoughts/decisions are right now. Teenagers within our laws cannot be fostered, its to late.

beth wrote on June 30, 2008 02:59 PM: Bobby- Why don't you read the article about the Rimers next? Making the judgement between 'good' parents or 'stealing' the kids away from them is insanely difficult, especially by social workers trying to manage 40, 50, or 60 different cases. You can't blame the system for both sides of the problem. Either DFS is at fault for taking kids away prematurely, or they're at fault for not taking them away in time.

Helping these kids learn to be independent has to be much more productive than bouncing them around to 4 more foster or group homes in their last couple years of school. Maybe by living on their own, they can begin to understand the need for rules.

In a perfect world, these kids wouldn't have had the problems at home that drove them in to the system in the first place, but once they're there, everyone has to work together to find the best fit for each kid.

Vegas Native wrote on June 30, 2008 11:58 AM: Bobby...slowly step away from the crack pipe.

Bobby wrote on June 30, 2008 10:27 AM: No wonder these teens are tough to get along with. A lot of these teens have good parents and were stolen from them and the teens know it. They are only acting like the Government agency that took STOLE them away from their Parents and brothers and sisters.

All people in time start acting like their leaders. Just look at the whole country! Everybody in this day and age only looks out for themselves and that's what the people are doing now too.

Putting teens in a shelter is nothing more than a criminal act! How can this agency tell us that they looked out in the best interests of the child and then send them to shelters when the teen REFUSES to accept FAKE parents.

The government in these cases should be sued by the parents of the children for neglect!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nakoa wrote on June 30, 2008 06:03 AM: AS a foster parent for 10 years now that deals only with teenagers, First thing you have to understand is that there are many kids who want no rules at all. And they will fight you all the way when you impose them. Every house must have rules. Especially foster homes. You also have county rules as well. When these kids don't want to live by the same rules everyone else has to it turns the house upside down, you begin to battle to keep control of the house, and it can become a mess if you are not careful. I do not try to father kids and my wife is not their mother. WE consider ourselves just a stop in their lives. A place where they can feel safe, learn to take care of themselves and most of the time they can cope a little better when the system boots them out at 18. I have had kids do well and go on to college and I have had kids not do so well and are currently in jail. Every child is different and comes with his/her own set of problems and ideas of what they want out of foster care. IN the case of the above article, sounds like Ronnie just didn't want to follow rules, be told what to do, or be a part of a houshould. He is independent and will accept nothing less. That type of child can be very difficult to blend into a foster home with rules and other kids. If you haven't been a foster parent, you have no idea what it is all about. Ohh... and it sounds like the kid is blaming himself.

br wrote on June 30, 2008 05:59 AM: Good luck and God bless you Ronnie. May you find happiness. I found answers for myself by joining the USAF when I was 19, alone, unskilled, uneducated and in poor physical condition. I just mention what turned me around. Your resentment of authority has to be controlled by YOU.

PS wrote on June 30, 2008 05:32 AM: And why are there homeless youths to begin with? shouldnt those kids be in foster care?

Read All Comments