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John L. Smith
On behalf of humorists everywhere, I say: Hang in there, Senator Sanctimony
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Updated: Apr. 10, 2012 | 9:29 a.m.
Comedy clubs open and close, but good material doesn't come along every day. When it's found, it must be respected -- and protected.
That's why I'm taking time today to stick up for you, Sen. John Ensign. I implore you not to listen to your growing legion of critics who audaciously question your ethics in the wake of your sex scandal, which is now morphing into a lobbying scandal thanks to the reporting of The New York Times. Cover your ears, I say.
I beg you, don't listen as those political prognosticators strongly suggest your career has lost its fizz and speculate you might have committed a crime. Your only crime was one of passion, I say. (Well, I guess the potential for illegal lobbying is in there somewhere, too. But between you and me, I'd stick with the crime of passion thing.)
Change the cable TV channel when a member of the thou-shalt-not-covet-thy-wife's-best-girlfriend brigade goes on a Sunday talk show to ridicule your rectitude. And snub the political pundits who claim your problems threaten to cripple Nevada's Republican Party.
Stay strong, Senator Sanctimony. Fight on.
Nevadans need you.
Not necessarily all Nevadans.
But certainly those Nevadans who make a living telling jokes in nightclubs and writing commentary in newspapers. Although some might be hesitant to admit it, I'll say it for them: We need you.
These are hard times for humorists. Recession and war aren't a lot of laughs. And there's no federal bailout for characters who live out of suitcases and get their mail at the Improv.
Those who attempt to write with wit need all the material they can get, and for months you've generously provided us with good stuff in a time of crisis. You're like the American Red Cross of punch lines, dropping life-saving packages from hovering helicopters. For that I'm grateful.
On Tuesday, Ensign told a CNN crew that he and his Senate aides "were very careful in everything that we did" when they helped outfit former staffer Doug Hampton with lobbying clients following Senator Sanctimony's affair with Cynthia Hampton. "We absolutely did nothing wrong except for comply exactly with what the ethics laws and the ethics rules of the Senate state."
And as if to remind skeptics such things as front-page stories in The New York Times and being increasingly shunned by Senate GOP leadership haven't taken the spring from his step, he added, "I am focused on doing my work. And I'm going to continue to focus on doing my work."
At least until all the mean reporters go away.
Ensign's problem is simple. Not everyone shares his sense of humor. Or his definition of "comply," for that matter.
For a guy with a veterinary degree, he sure parses language like a lawyer. And to pretend that he somehow vetted it all only makes his contorted actions following his inappropriate behavior appear all the more comical.
While he was busy focusing on his work and avoiding reporters' inquiries, Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington on Tuesday augmented their Ensign complaint files to the FBI and Senate Select Committee on Ethics. Now there are a couple of tough rooms to work.
Neither the FBI nor the Ethics Committee is likely to find anything the least bit funny about how he enlisted the help of friend, Christian brother, and fellow Republican Sen. Tom Coburn of Oklahoma as a go-between in a failed settlement deal with Doug Hampton.
Come to think of it, Coburn didn't find much to laugh about, either.
"John got trapped doing something really stupid and then made a lot of other mistakes afterward," Coburn told the Times. "Judgment gets impaired by arrogance, and that's what's going on here."
Yes, but arrogance-impaired judgment can generate priceless material. Let's not forget the one about the parents of the grown-up Senator Sanctimony who paid $96,000 to the ex-girlfriend's family in "gifts," or whatever they're calling soft-core payoffs these days.
They could have saved a bundle by installing a Master Lock on his zipper.
Ensign's importance is so great these days that powerhouse Republican Sen. Mitch McConnell was nearly speechless when asked to describe the Nevadan's political future following the lobbying revelations.
"I really don't have any observations to make about the Ensign matter,'' McConnell said.
Talk about playing the ultimate straight man.
McConnell didn't crack a smile.
John L. Smith's column appears Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday. E-mail him at Smith@reviewjournal.com or call (702) 383-0295. He also blogs at lvrj.com/blogs/smith.
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You are welcome Clarence Darrow,
We are talking about elected officials right.
The word weak is correct as without corrupted weak leadership in both the democrats and republicans parties, every important issue we have wouldn't be in crisis.
The idea that the uproar about Ensign, is about his moral turpitude is nonsense. This is congress afte all, it’s all about power and the democrats feel power slipping away.
Not that I’m happy republicans will gain power.
I'm not trying to defend Ensign only pointing out the hypocrisy by those that act the same or worse.
Joe C, thanks for providing the weakest possible defense of a case of moral turpitude and corruption. The reason "the pot is stewing" is the actions of John Ensign (and his very generous parents)...nothing more.
The biggest reason the pot is stewing about this is the democrats are feeling the heat coming in the next election.
Figuring and rightfully so, the evil traitorous Reid will be toast.
We need CREW to tell us something wrong in congress as much as we need Bernie Madoff to give us investment advice.
My priority level of horrible acts by elected officials certainly is lower now, but compared to Reid, Pelosi Ensign is an angle.
Trust me, this issue is boiling only because democrats see the future and it’s not good for them, sadly our only option is the republicans.
As soon as Ensign's enablers start feeling some heat, they will cut him loose and he will have to resign.