VIN SUPRYNOWICZ: G.I. Joe was just a toy, wasn't he? - Opinion

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Oct. 28, 2007
Copyright © Las Vegas Review-Journal

VIN SUPRYNOWICZ: G.I. Joe was just a toy, wasn't he?

VIN SUPRYNOWICZ
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Hollywood now proposes that in a new live-action movie based on the G.I. Joe toy line, Joe's -- well, "G.I." -- identity needs to be replaced by membership in an "international force based in Brussels." The IGN Entertainment news site reports Paramount is considering replacing our "real American hero" with "Action Man," member of an "international operations team."

Paramount will simply turn Joe's name into an acronym.

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The show biz newspaper Variety reports: "G.I. Joe is now a Brussels-based outfit that stands for Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity, an international co-ed force of operatives who use hi-tech equipment to battle Cobra, an evil organization headed by a double-crossing Scottish arms dealer."

Well, thank goodness the villain -- no need to offend anyone by making our villains Arabs, Muslims, or foreign dictators of any stripe these days, though apparently Presbyterians who talk like Scottie on "Star Trek" are still OK -- is a double-crossing arms dealer. Otherwise one might be tempted to conclude the geniuses at Paramount believe arms dealing itself is evil.

(Just for the record, what did the quintessential American hero, Humphrey Bogart's Rick Blaine in "Casablanca," do before he opened his eponymous cafe? Yep: gun-runner.)

According to reports in Variety and the aforementioned IGN, the producers explain international marketing would simply prove too difficult for a summer, 2009 film about a heroic U.S. soldier. Thus the need to "eliminate Joe's connection to the U.S. military."

Well, who cares. G.I. Joe is just a toy, right? He was never real. Right?

On Nov. 15, 2003, an 85-year-old retired Marine Corps colonel died of congestive heart failure at his home in La Quinta, Calif., southeast of Palm Springs. He was a combat veteran of World War II. His name was Mitchell Paige.

It's hard today to envision -- or, for the dwindling few, to remember -- what the world looked like on Oct. 25, 1942 -- 65 years ago.

The U.S. Navy was not the most powerful fighting force in the Pacific. Not by a long shot. So the Navy basically dumped a few thousand lonely American Marines on the beach at Guadalcanal and high-tailed it out of there.

(You old swabbies can hold the letters. I've written elsewhere about the way Bull Halsey rolled the dice on the night of Nov. 13, 1942, violating the stern War College edict against committing capital ships in restricted waters and instead dispatching into the Slot his last two remaining fast battleships, the South Dakota and the Washington, escorted by the only four destroyers with enough fuel in their bunkers to get them there and back. By 11 p.m., with the fire control systems on the South Dakota malfunctioning, with the crews of those American destroyers cheering her on as they treaded water in an inky sea full of flaming wreckage, "At that moment Washington was the entire U.S. Pacific Fleet," writes naval historian David Lippman. "If this one ship did not stop 14 Japanese ships right then and there, America might lose the war. ..." At midnight precisely, facing those impossible odds, the battleship Washington opened up with her 16-inch guns. If you're reading this in English, you should be able to figure out how she did.)

But the Washington's one-sided battle with the Kirishima was still weeks in the future. On Oct. 25, Mitchell Paige was back on the God-forsaken malarial jungle island of Guadalcanal.

On Guadalcanal, the Marines struggled to complete an airfield that could threaten the Japanese route to Australia. Admiral Yamamoto knew how dangerous that was. Before long, relentless Japanese counterattacks had driven the supporting U.S. Navy from inshore waters. The Marines were on their own.

As Platoon Sgt. Mitchell Paige and his 33 riflemen set about carefully emplacing their four water-cooled .30-caliber Brownings on that hillside, 65 years ago this week -- manning their section of the thin khaki line that was expected to defend Henderson Field against the assault of the night of Oct. 25, 1942 -- it's unlikely anyone thought they were about to provide the definitive answer to that most desperate of questions: How many able-bodied U.S. Marines does it take to hold a hill against 2,000 armed and motivated attackers?

But by the time the night was over, "The 29th (Japanese) Infantry Regiment has lost 553 killed or missing and 479 wounded among its 2,554 men," historian Lippman reports. "The 16th (Japanese) Regiment's losses are uncounted, but the 164th's burial parties handled 975 Japanese bodies. ... The American estimate of 2,200 Japanese dead is probably too low."

You've already figured out where the Japanese focused their attack, haven't you? Among the 90 American dead and seriously wounded that night were all the men in Mitchell Paige's platoon. Every one. As the night of endless attacks wore on, Paige moved up and down his line, pulling his dead and wounded comrades back into their foxholes and firing a few bursts from each of the four Brownings in turn, convincing the Japanese forces down the hill that the positions were still manned.

The citation for Paige's Medal of Honor picks up the tale: "When the enemy broke through the line directly in front of his position, P/Sgt. Paige, commanding a machine gun section with fearless determination, continued to direct the fire of his gunners until all his men were either killed or wounded. Alone, against the deadly hail of Japanese shells, he fought with his gun and when it was destroyed, took over another, moving from gun to gun, never ceasing his withering fire."

In the end, Sgt. Paige picked up the last of the 40-pound, belt-fed Brownings and did something for which the weapon was never designed. Sgt. Paige walked down the hill toward the place where he could hear the last Japanese survivors rallying to move around his flank, the belt-fed gun cradled under his arm, firing as he went.

Coming up at dawn, battalion executive officer Major Odell M. Conoley was the first to discover how many able-bodied United States Marines it takes to hold a hill against two regiments of motivated, combat-hardened infantrymen who have never known defeat.

On a hill where the bodies were piled like cordwood, Mitchell Paige alone sat upright behind his 30-caliber Browning, waiting to see what the dawn would bring.

The hill had held, because on the hill remained the minimum number of able-bodied United States Marines necessary to hold the position.

And that's where the unstoppable wave of Japanese conquest finally crested, broke, and began to recede. On an unnamed jungle ridge on an insignificant island no one ever heard of, called Guadalcanal.

When the Hasbro Toy Co. called some years back, asking permission to put the retired colonel's face on some kid's doll, Mitchell Paige thought they must be joking.

But they weren't. That's his mug, on the little Marine they call "G.I. Joe." At least, it has been up till now.

Mitchell Paige's only condition? That G.I. Joe must always remain a United States Marine.

But don't worry. Far more important for our new movies not to offend anyone in Cairo or Karachi or Paris or Palembang.

After all, it's only a toy. It doesn't mean anything.

Vin Suprynowicz is assistant editorial page editor of the Review-Journal and author of the books "Send in the Waco Killers" and "The Black Arrow." www.abebooks.com/servlet/SearchResults?kn=arrow&vci=51238921

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Please enter your name Name: Please enter your email Email: Please enter a comment COMMENTS : (word count limit is 300) You have reached the maximum number of words allowed Current Word Count: Note: Comments made by reporters and editors of the Las Vegas Review-Journal are presented with a yellow background. Report abuse Lady J wrote on November 04, 2009 04:48 PM: This is really the most ridiculous board I've ever read. To date I haven't seen the movie but, I am writing research on the evolution of G.I. Joe the TOY, seriously bc I do think that play reveals more than toying around. Anyone is right to say that Joe is more than a toy, but he is not Mitchell. In fact, the original Joe was not even a Marine. Army got the first nod in design. It was only after some talking that the other 3 services were represented by design and then all 4 were released, simultaneously. Maybe this is salt in the wound or stoking the fire, but the production of Joe dolls and accessories were shipped to the East. Regulation dress, weapons, etc. were studied extensively down to the last stitch, but aren't American Made. In fact, Hasbro was boycotted heavily during the 'Nam years. The GIJoe of military means was abandoned and he joined up with the Adventure Team in '70. Joe hasn't had a temporal enemy since then. It's been one fantastical enemy after the other. Besides, if you are going to claim that Joe is a Real American hero then you have to realize that you are quipping the '82 run of toys and so too have camped Joe with Cobra and as a special operative, not as a strictly traditional military soldier. If you want to argue, pick your argument well, research and choose words carefully. After all, Joe is more than a toy,as you claim, isn't he? I support all of our troops. My buddies aren't all home yet. I worry about politics, too. Isn't there something better to do with our time? Report abuse Paul Langtry wrote on August 02, 2009 07:54 AM: Actually the first time the Japanese were defeated in battle on land in the Pacific during WW2 was at a little place called Milne Bay in Papua New Guinea. The Japanes were defeated by the men of the 18th Brigade 7 Division Australian Imperial Force. This was in September 1942 Report abuse Charles Grife wrote on July 13, 2009 07:48 PM: I saw a show on T V about this G.I. Joe and they told how he modified those machine guns that they were issued to make them vibrate less. Apparently they recoiled so much that they made a very large pattern at any distance at all. So he and some others modified the mechanisms so that the guns would shoot faster thereby reducing the vibration and making them shoot more accurately. Charles Grife Report abuse Jim Killman wrote on May 17, 2009 09:16 AM: I am glad that Paramount et al are carefully NOT offending anyone who may well be trying to kill Americans, but I can assure you that I am offended. And, as a former Marine (there's no such thing as an ex-Marine), I will try to make sure that many others are offended as well. Report abuse The_Duke wrote on January 15, 2009 09:34 AM: see this, it'll blow your mind away! Report abuse janis wrote on November 08, 2008 02:30 AM: i have audi rs6 but not many Report abuse janis wrote on November 08, 2008 02:30 AM: i love audi Report abuse Julia Epps wrote on June 15, 2008 11:50 PM: GI Joe is commenting here. Rick Stokvis is a real GI Joe. I miss him very much. Report abuse John wrote on March 02, 2008 04:58 AM: Your article was spectacular, I have heard on the news, and online how upset everyone was about the focus of the movie, and how they were outraged at the fact that the movie wasn't true to the American military. I really thought the whole thing of people getting upset was senseless (I am young and am a fan of the 1980's G I Joe line that was based off of characters of different ethnicities fighting evil)because I couldn't see a difference in the plot of the movie to the comic books/television show, I didn't understand why everyone was upset. By reading your article, I have seen the light, I am now looking at G I Joe as true American Heroes, instead of fancy clothing and utility belts. Thank you for the magnificent read, and for the informational values thoughout your article. Report abuse Chuck wrote on January 29, 2008 12:15 PM: Hey Professor, Nice disclaimer, but the glory-merchant Marines on Guadal lost nearly 1/4 the men the 'swabbies' did trying to hold the island. And to make the ludicrous claim that Guadal was the turning point of the Pacific really undermines the men that died in a much more audacious and uncertain battle at an island simply called 'Midway'. But they were all 'swabbies', so I guess it is OK to denigrate their sacrifice... Read All Comments