ERIN NEFF: The inspirational Michelle Obama - Opinion

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Aug. 28, 2008
Copyright © Las Vegas Review-Journal

ERIN NEFF: The inspirational Michelle Obama

ERIN NEFF
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DENVER -- There's never been anyone like her.

Yet when you have a chance to talk with Michelle Obama in person, it isn't what makes her exceptional that stands out.

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Yes, she is the first black woman with the chance to be first lady. But it's her common experience -- that of a working mother, not a political spouse -- that shows how real she is.

Women watching her speech Monday began making that connection for the first time.

"I think the reaction that folks had in the center is similar to what I get when I'm on the campaign trail," she said during a lengthy conversation with several female columnists Tuesday. "That's the me that I know."

One of the most enduring parts of her convention speech was her anecdote about Barack re-checking the rearview mirror as he drove his new daughter home from the hospital.

Anyone who has had children can connect with that emotion.

"The weight of your child is so human, and it is so real for everyone," Michelle Obama said. "Once they have that experience, they have that first child, their whole perspective switches. You no longer are the focus. You are now worried about that little being that you immediately love more than anything you can ever imagine."

That universal emotion -- bound not by race or gender or anything -- is part of the Obama story. Perceptions, she said, are hard when you have no image of some realities.

Michelle Obama talked about growing up watching "The Cosby Show" and its groundbreaking portrayal of an upper-class black family. "When the country doesn't see a variety of different models out there -- whether you're African-American or a working mother or a gay mayor -- if we don't see those images, we don't know they exist," she said. "Sometimes I do feel that people don't believe that I exist."

Sometimes Michelle Obama has seen two versions of her husband's campaign. In Iowa before the caucuses, she said she was well-received and felt positive about the energy and crowds. Yet the press was saying he wouldn't win.

Michelle Obama also stopped a career track when the reality didn't fit. Despite the debt that accompanies being a Princeton-educated, Harvard-trained lawyer, she opted to leave a firm that was paying her enough to help pay off that education.

"You were being offered salaries that were double what your parents ever made," she said. "Now you can say, 'I'm a lawyer at a corporate firm,' and everybody goes, 'Oh, wonderful.' "

But she didn't expect the emptiness and left for a community organizing job.

One summer during college she scrapped a well-paying office job for work at a children's camp, even though it cost her family money to send her there. "I felt guilt because this money (was to pay) for my books," she said.

Many women struggle with that guilt or make sacrifices for financial or personal reasons. Michelle Obama called part-time work for mothers a scam. "It's full-time work for part-time pay and no benefits, and I'm paying for a full-time baby sitter," she said. "If you have a meeting on Thursday that they couldn't reschedule, you've got to go. And you have to have a baby sitter because you have to be professional."

The tension between women and work and women with and without children can be testy. But Michelle Obama's experience can place her in any camp.

"I fully understand and respect a person's decision to walk away from the career and the money to take care of their kids," she said. "I also understand the women who say if I would stay home with my kids all day, I would die.

"I've felt both things, and they are both legitimate and equal, and it doesn't make a woman less of a mother, less of a professional." Today, she said, women are often trapped without a real choice.

The Obamas are like many Americans -- worried about school or health care -- and, until recently, concerned about how to pay the bills. Michelle joked about how many houses the Obamas own in light of the trouble John McCain had remembering his. "We technically don't have one, because we have a mortgage," she said.

As the campaign progresses, you'll see more of Michelle Obama, but not of her daughters, Malia and Sasha. "Trust me," she said. "You will not see them much at all."

Michelle Obama realizes she is standing in a historic role with the possibility of a black couple moving into the White House. And while she expected some of the bigotry and racism the campaign has encountered, what has been the most surprising to her is that she and her husband are here.

"That's the truth of this, too," she said. "I just believe that people connect with the truth, and I think people can tell the difference if they get a chance to see the whole story."

The Michelle Obama I saw here is as real as women get.

Contact Erin Neff at (702) 387-2906 or by e-mail at eneff@reviewjournal.com.

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Please enter your name Name: Please enter your email Email: Please enter a comment COMMENTS : (word count limit is 300) You have reached the maximum number of words allowed Current Word Count: Note: Comments made by reporters and editors of the Las Vegas Review-Journal are presented with a yellow background. WJM wrote on September 02, 2008 12:49 PM: Inspiration my ass. Silver spoon yes. And single mothers out there, try putting the name of the father on the birth certificate and holding them responsible for helping raise the children. If you don't know who the father is have an abortion and then get fixed so you don't bring children into this world with a 2 stupid parents!! abc wrote on August 31, 2008 04:32 PM: Shannon, How reavealing your comments are.... you admit you saw my disclaimer, yet you still unjustly called me a 'plagiarist'. I have no use for a deceitful people. Therefore, I will probably not continue a dialogue with you. Shannon wrote on August 29, 2008 08:45 PM: abc: I didn't miss that part at all and will not apologize. I wouldn't exactly call it an "analysis." Do you have any idea who originally wrote it? I don't and neither do you which makes the whole "analysis" suspect. abc wrote on August 29, 2008 06:54 PM: Shannon: I don't know how you could have missed it, but the very top line of my post said: "And here is the remainder of the analysis I received recently:" Therefore, I never claimed it as my own. Oh well, I suppose unjustified name-calling is easier for some people than reading closely. I won't expect an apology.... Democrats never think they are wrong. Oh, if the Obama's lose, will Michelle revert to saying she is not proud of this country? GO SARAH PALIN... now there is a real woman! Sad Summerlin wrote on August 29, 2008 05:31 PM: Shannon - Sociology Classes are an abomination in my experience... my sociology professor at Berkeley, fantastic teacher (ex-Black Panther) gave a mid-term exam on Yom Kippur (the Jewish high holiday).... To say that was controversial would be an understatement... It is experiences like these that give Michelle O a bit more room when discussing the context of her paper... JOHN F - Thanks again for the educations... I have to wonder why we still have to renew this "voter rights act" anyway... shouldn't this be a guarantee in the constitution... seems like a political football that is designed to make some politicians look bad while others look good... "But the Republican voter suppression efforts were coordinated from the highest levels of the Florida Republican party and were targeted specifically at Black voters. This was unconscionable." You are really going to have to back that statement up with some sources... and then I can argue that Al Gore attempted to suppress the white conservative vote in Florida when he elected to only re-count 3 counties... Are we STILL talking about 2000? By the way... YAY for Palin... totally changes the dynamics of the race regardless of where you sit politically... Shannon wrote on August 29, 2008 06:25 AM: Sad Summerlin: I'm glad to see that someone else reads the original before making statements. You are correct that some people may find some sentences in Michelle Obama's paper questionable, people who are looking for something to be afraid of. However, one needs to note that it was 23 years ago and she was in a sociology class. Based on the times and the class she was in, there was absolutely nothing wrong with anything she said in her paper. That's why it is not the "smoking gun" that people would like it to be and why it hasn't been used against her. John F wrote on August 29, 2008 06:10 AM: Sad Summerlin, I never made any such blanket statement like "all Republicans are racist," nor would I. There is a legitimate argument to be made against affirmative action; I don't deny it. I, too, lament the day when Abraham Lincoln's birthday was taken away as a national holiday. The voting rights act was passed to guarantee that Black people had equal access to the polls. It oulawed things like literacy tests that had been used to keep Black voters away from the polls. President Lyndon Johnson pushed the bill through Congress - with help from key Republicans - over the strident objections of Southern Democrats, many of whom bolted for the Republican Party afterwards. Since then the act has had to be renewed twice. During the most recent attempt passage was delayed for weeks by a group of Southern Republican Congressmen. It was finally passed and President Bush signed the extension into law. The first time the law required extension was during the Reagan administration. President Reagan did - somewhat reluctantly - sign the extension, but only over the virulent objections of Deputy Attorney General John Roberts. The same John Roberts who President Bush made the Chief Justice of the United States Supreme Court. Black people know this. They understand that the Republican party was unanimous in its endorsement of Roberts. Does that mean the Reppublicans are racist? No. Does it mean that Republicans are insensitive to the sensibilities of Black people? Absolutely. Of course dirty tricks happen on election day all the time. But the Republican voter suppression efforts were coordinated from the highest levels of the Florida Republican party and were targeted specifically at Black voters. This was unconscionable. Sad Summerlin wrote on August 28, 2008 10:29 PM: John - This is where the ideology of beliefs separates people... I do not see the opposition of Affirmative Action as something that is racially motivated. I personally view Affirmative Action as a racist policy since its entire foundation is based on the national origin or color of ones skin. Does that make me racist? I think everyone has equal opportunity to succeed and that if anyone PREVENTS someone from that opportunity based on the color of their skin black, brown, yellow or white, then THEY are the true racists. Affirmative Action prevents people of a non-protected color (white) from positions purely because they are not of the protected class. If there are limited spots and some must go to affirmative action appointments, then are we not discriminating based on skin rather than ability? Perhaps you can educate me more on the Voting Rights Act because I am not familiar with the controversy. The King Holiday as well is controversial... where is the Susan B Anthony Holiday? The Caesar Chavez Holiday? The Stonewall Rebellion official government Holiday... While I fully agree that King is a national hero and deserves credit for his actions was it necessary to remove Lincoln and Washington's birthday to make room? I would not have fought against the MLK holiday, but one does have to wonder why more women don't ask for SBA Day. Now John, Democrats have been comparing Republicans to the KKK and saying that Republican are racist for years... both sides are guilty of this shallow tactic. And how many tires of Republican voters were slashed during the 2004 election by Democratic operatives... While I don't deny dirty tricks from Republicans, you can't in good conscience say that it has only been Republicans playing dirty... Are you that partisan? John F wrote on August 28, 2008 09:51 PM: Sad Summerlin, Anecdotal evidence doesn't make a case. Yes, JC Watts is a Republican. So are the four or five other people that posters here today have mentioned. That's five people out of millions. They don't represent a trend. African Americans don't vote overwhelmingly Democratic because they're being pandered to or because of peer pressure. They do so because they know that the Republican party has consistently worked against their interests since the days that Southern Democrats bolted the party en masse over the civil rights act. On all the social issues that matter to the AA community the Republicans have stood in the way. Affirmative action? The Republicans are opposed. Extension of the Voting Rights Act? The Republicans were opposed. The King Holiday? The Republicans were opposed. Granting tax-exempt status to Bob Jones University? The Republicans were for it. Efforts to suppress Black voter turnout in Florida and elsewhere? It wasn't the Democrats. The list goes on. On top of that, the Republican party has been making cynical appeals to racist voters for decades. Google "Southern Strategy" and see what comes up. Knowing this, I'm only surprised that any African Americans vote Republican at all and I wonder why more sensible people of other races aren't just as outraged by this conduct. Jen wrote on August 28, 2008 08:55 PM: So this woman wrote a thesis to attain her Phd 23 YEARS AGO, everyone is taking bits and peices of soundbites from it and holding it against her....... That's correct, right? If she had also been a POW, she would've been forgiven any wrong though, correct? Maybe I'm just not following the logic that's swirling around here... Read All Comments