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Sherman Frederick
A congress of baboons?
There comes a time when a nation must stand up and say, "Enough is enough. No more degrading political slurs."
Yes, there is such a thing as a pride of lions and a parliament of owls.
But there is absolutely, categorically no such thing as a "congress" of baboons.
We know this because the website Politifact did the research and found that while a group of baboons can sometimes be called a rumpus, the more accepted term of venery is a troop.
A joke email started it all when the anonymous writer asserted that "congress" is not only the right term for a gathering of baboons, it by extension explains quite a lot about Congress. (Nudge-nudge, wink-wink.)
Politifact smelled a plague of rats. So an essay of journalists there delved into this most important political language issue.
Setting the record straight no doubt came much to the relief of baboons everywhere.
Unlike baboons, the reputation of Congress has never been held in lower regard. At the end of last year, Gallup polled the approval rating for Congress at 11 percent.
Think about it -- 11 percent! Public support for legalized marijuana would poll better than 11 percent. Heck, public support for legalized heroin would do better than that.
Besides, what did baboons do to merit comparison to the U.S. Congress?
When baboons gather, they do so for a purpose and actually get things done. Baboon leaders lead the troop to food, water and the pursuit of baboon happiness.
Can Congress do that? Not lately.
Most days last year, Congress did nothing but sit on its collective haunches. And when it actually did something, it made matters worse and the people far less happy.
The House passes bills the Senate won't move on. And the Senate passes bills that the House won't move on. This is normal "activity" for Congress.
House Speaker John Boehner can't control the more conservative part of his majority. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid can't control his own tongue, thus making the men the least effective partnership for the reputation of Congress since Anthony Weiner bought a BlackBerry.
The do-nothing Congress created a supercommittee to do something. It did super nothing. Budgets and other big issues get kicked down the road, 60 days at a time. It's no way to run a country.
It's time for good people to do the right thing and just say no to tarnishing the image of baboons. Baboons are not U.S. senators and representatives. For the sake of future generations of baboons, let's put an end to this unfair linkage.
If we don't, the damage could be immeasurable to baboon culture. For example:
-- An adolescent baboon asks out the good-looking babe-oon in the next tree, only to be taunted as having the social graces and personality of Harry Reid. Would his self-esteem ever recover?
-- A baboon harem harrumphs about their male's flirtatious behavior at the troop holiday party. They tell him they won't be "John Ensigned."
-- Overheard at the morning baboon head-scratching session: "Did you hear about the facial work she had done? It was a disaster." "Was it a Nancy Pelosi disaster or a Shelley Berkley disaster?"
"Way worse than Shelley. It was Joe Biden grotesque. She's going to sue the doctor's ischial callosities off."
So let's get it straight. It's a troop of baboons, a rhumba of rattlesnakes, a bed of oysters, a bloat of hippopotami and a murder of crows. A gathering of congresscritters is a congress.
The other animals don't want to trade.
Sherman Frederick, former publisher of the Las Vegas Review-Journal, writes a column for Stephens Media. Read his blog at www.lvrj.com/blogs/sherm.
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beentheredonedope...I talked to your Mama and she wants you to get off the couch, get out of the house, go look for a job and stop wasting her welfare check on bad drugs that are destroying your ability to reason in any meaningful way...Sorry about the run on sentence....By the way; the unabomber was a radical environmentalist; not a Libertarian...Have you ever thought about doing any research before you report such drivel; it's no wonder you are unemployed!
LostVegaslibrarian: "Think" more money equals a better education; moi? No sir, its not I who "thinks" that more money equals a better education, its the entire capitalist world. You got something against the wealthiest people sending their kids to the most expensive schools in the country; what are you a commie? Apparently, the entire country of wealthy people understand that spending more on education equals a better education but YOU, are here to tell them otherwise; I wonder if they'll listen. And, I didn't say that libertarians have to live in the woods (although the world would be a much better place if they did) I said if they wanted to be anything OTHER than hypocritical then they need to live far away from the world that other people have paid for so as not to be the parasites they are. And yes, the unibomber was a anarchist/libertarian which, to give him credit, at least he did have enough integrity to do what he preached, instead of just being a hypocrite like you.
beentheredonedope...I'm sorry for wasting my time trying to reach another hopeless liberal whose only solutions seem to be the tired old tax more and spend more...You really do have a warped gourd!...Tell me something genius; why do you think spending more money on education equates to a better education...We have been spending more money than ever - over the past ten years with declining test results..and where do you get the idea that a Libertarian must "live in the woods somewhere" ...did you get that idea from the unabomber (who by the way sounds alot like you)....Get off the crack..Get a grip and get a job!
LostVegaslibrarian: LOL, I gotta tell you that I sure did enjoy the laughable response so I thank you! You "think" that the piddling amount that your parents paid in taxes were sufficient to provide you with an education? I got news for you my parasitical "friend" that the cost of that school building that you attended, and the teachers that taught you, and the books that you read cost FAR more than whatever you "believe" your parents paid in taxes. That means, the portion that they did NOT pay, was paid by someone other than them and YOU were the beneficiary of (gasp) CHARITY. Sucking off the teat of society runs deep in your kind, and the unappreciative attitude you've expressed here is also consistent with your peculiar philosophy. Miserable is the best word I can come up with to describe people like you, and whether your life has been miserable or not because of what society has provided to you, changes not one wit of the applicability of that word to describe you. If you REALLY practiced what you preached, you would be living FAR away from humanity, back in the backwoods somewhere that the government in this country does not often reach and finding your own food, protecting your own piece of the world, driving or walking down unbeaten paths, living without electricity, running water, wireless connections ALL of which have been made possible by that "bad ole government" that you take advantage of each day. I pity you and your immaturity sir.
beentheredonedrugs...I am going to attempt to enlighten you....I had the help of wonderful hard working parents...and 50 years ago when you went to the hospital YOU PAID for it not the government....My parents were coerced into paying taxes to a corrupt government which provided a substandard education...Again, the only things which were given to me were more of a spiritual or intellectual nature...I have not, nor do I intend to receive government assistance as I have worked since I was 15 years old...And unlike you sponges- I enjoy working!As for the assumption that I have a miserable life - nothing could be further from the truth!...speak for yourself!...The only thing I find miserable are all you leftists constantly whining about this country of ours and always wanting more money from workers while sitting on your arses complaining....I hope you are mature enough to stop looking for free lunches and start earning your keep!
Lostlibrarianinlasvegas: As I suspected "you did it all yourself". I got to ask you though; how did you manage that conception all by your lonesome? And, that hospital bed/rock, you presumably landed on when you were squeezed out; was that another miracle you produced? And, assuming you were "cursed" with some form of education, presumably at the hand of that "big government" you probably hate now, what did you do to "earn" that? Yes, your entire, probably somewhat miserable life, you have been GIVEN lots of things you have not "earned' but instead leeched off of others to receive. I hope someday, you mature enough to understand and appreciate it, but I ain't holding my breath.
beentheredonedope...Never known a liberal who wasn't either an elitist or a leech...You sound like the latter...you are right about one thing though...I do not owe you or anybody else anything!...My allegiance is to family, country and God!...By the way, I think you are an expert on "strange mentality" judging by the way that your thought process works; get off the crack and get a job!
To put a different spin on things... I don't understand why Congress has such a low rating. Frankly, the best thing they can do for all of us is bicker, fight, and get nothing done. Seems every time they force a law down our throats (Obamacare, NDAA), it only makes our lives worse.
LostinLasVegasLibrarian: Never known a libertarian to be anything OTHER than a parasite; that is being true to their rather peculiar philosophy right? I mean, libertarians "think" that they "owe" nothing to no one except themselves right? The ole Ayn Rand school of "I got what I got because of me and no one else"? Makes for odd conversations around the family supper table I would expect when the 5 year old "libertarian" starts lecturing their parents about "personal responsibility" and how the food their eating, and the house their sleeping in sure ain't no "charity" or "welfare" or "obligation" its just..well, the 5 year old "earned" it somehow. That sort of strange mentality just goes right on into "adulthood" (and I use that word to describe the on-going process of aging and not maturing) when the libertarian types profess that the world hasn't done jack for them and that they did it ALL themselves. And that's why they don't "owe" nobody nothing. See what I mean? Parasites one and all.
gentlemen, in view of the fact the accused jack.webb continues to post and repost ad nauseum the same ridiculous remarks it is obvious that he is incapable of understanding the charges of stupidity against him and that therefore he be shunned merely because he's fool and further that all future correspondence from him be disregarded... thank you, the prosecution rests.